I was going to write a sombre-toned post-Charlie-Hebdo blog post about this winter's work mission to fashion week in Paris. You know, grey rooftops and the Eiffel Tower glittering in spite of all that horror. A jitteriness in the air that we may well have been imagining, jittery ourselves. And this contrasted with the wild and rewarding disco night we enjoyed, crowned with countless glasses of champagne. For Paris - she has lived revolution, siege and warfare - is licking her wounds.
But no. I came home from the tragic city to a small-scale family emergency. A child of mine in an ambulance. Everything thankfully resolved hours later in a local hospital. Then a day of follow-up in the wards of the massive hospital in town. Hours of standing, waiting, wishing for food, praying no one would jump the queue, finishing my book and nagging said child, as one does. A long day through which it all came home, how fragile we are. How we think we are steering our destinies but, in the grand arc of our lives, we are not. How we can try so hard to be healthy, to keep our dear ones healthy - and fail.
Like most of us I view hospitals as locations of dread. Awful nights of agony or the agony of a loved one - which you wish you could bear yourself. Mostly, these are relatively minor things which provide stonking stories afterwards: the time that guy crashed into your son and he was carried down the slopes on a stretcher; the time you put on snow chains halfway up the pass coming back from Agordo with your daughter's cracked arm in plaster and sling. But then there are the traumatic moments of fear, tests.. trying to read the doctor's face. The waiting. The knowledge that apart from childbirth or routine checkups, you are never going to be here for an innocent reason. It will always be because something it's wrong or if it isn't now, it will be one day.
Australian Tim Winton grew up 'In the Shadow of the Hospital' and wrote this stirring piece for Granta. 'No wonder so many great novels have been set in hospitals.. Hospitals make rich fictional settings because from the inside they are such chillingly plausible worlds themselves. They have their own surreal logic, their own absurd governance, their own uncanny weather, and the impotence and boredom they induce is hard to match anywhere by prison or the military.'
Once I finish reading my book I spend numerous hours looking at everybody around. There's a real cast of characters. Old creaky folk on stretchers, a pregnant African lady I can see is in pain, a labourer with blood running down under his cap, listless babies wrapped in scarves. Everyone is exposed, at some extremity of emotion. As Tim Winton says: '..in the lee of the hospital social camouflage slips away.. Where else do people bear their narratives so openly? Body language is heightened, almost balletic..'
Eight hours later when we go outside to the car park it is dark and colder. My son can walk now. We are both starving and glad of our release into the real world. But is it the real world? Or just a reprieve? Still more people pour over the bridge to the main entrance, an endless stream. Hard faces, each of them; fast paces, big coats. Nobody wanders into a hospital.
That night I remember dancing half-drunk in Paris just days ago, and the long drive home through France and up into the mountains, rain thrashing the windscreen, trucks passing outside the Psycho Hotel where myself and my colleagues hardly slept a wink.
I am grateful.
I am pleased everything is OK. Hospitals are good places to stay away from.
ReplyDeleteThanks Debra. I agree. It was quite a messy week!
DeleteI am pleased your story has a fairly positive ending. It is so much harder when it is someone you love who is suffering. It seems that we cram too much in to life now days. Then when there is an accident or illness we must slow down. Forget everything else that is not as important. And maybe re evaluate our own lives. Why are we so busy
ReplyDeleteI wish you a calm and pleasant week
Thanks for your kind thoughts Lyn. This week has been normal again, thank goodness! And I was surprised how the Italian national health system - at least where we are - works so well. We were lucky in that way I guess.
DeleteI completely get your message. We ARE fragile. And it's never more apparent then when you're standing next to your child's hospital bed, weak-kneed and sick with worry. I can relate to your experience of the hospital Catherine,--the rawness and vulnerabilty that surfaces when you're so close to llness and death. And I'm sorry you had to go through that. Thank goodness it all worked out and your son is ok. That's what matters.
ReplyDeleteThanks Leslie! The worst thing - being the pessimist that I am - is that you begin to wonder what's around the corner, don't you?
DeleteHope all is going well for you xcat
Glad to hear things are better now. We have a Romanian expression that 'the calculations made at home rarely match the ones made in the marketplace' - to demonstrate the randomness of events overtaking us, how we never do quite know what's around the corner, even though we like to believe we are in control. Wishing you all the best.
ReplyDeleteThanks Marina. Yes things have calmed down now. Maybe it was a helpful reminder of the randomness of the 'marketplace'? I don't know. But it certainly makes you step aside and think. Best to you too.
DeleteThat’s a heart breaking story. I understand how you felt at the time your child was hospitalized. I could feel your longing and fear as a loving mother seeing your son’s sufferings. I’m just glad and relieved that everything has ended with positive results. You really deserve to have that inner peace. Thanks for being brave to share that story! All the best to you!
ReplyDeleteSandra Walker @ Eric Risk
Life is good when you have your love ones around you, I am saying this because when i had issues with my lover i never seen life as a good thing but thanks to Dr. AGBAZARA of AGBAZARA TEMPLE, for helping me to cast a spell that brought my lover back to me within the space of 48hours. My husband left me for another woman after 7YEARS of marriage,but Dr.AGBAZARA help me cast a spell that brought him back to me within 48hours. I am not going to tell you more details about myself rather i will only advise those who are having issues in there relationship or marriages to contact Dr.AGBAZARA TEMPLE through these details via;
ReplyDelete( agbazara@gmail.com ) or call him on (+2348104102662).
I liked it so much and very interesting, too! Thanks for sharing the experience.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, really great tips and advice.
friv 3
friv 4
kizi2
Thank you very much for sharing information that will be much helpful for making coursework my effective.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate for this great information, This type of message always inspiring and I prefer to read quality content. so happy to find good place to many here in the post. the writing is just great. thanks for the post.
ReplyDeletekizi 4 new games | Magic titles 3 online
İsmetpaşa
ReplyDeleteKnidos
Sanayi
İhsaniye
Bostanlı
JM2
5A0FF
ReplyDeleteÇorum Şehirler Arası Nakliyat
Antep Parça Eşya Taşıma
Ankara Boya Ustası
Batman Parça Eşya Taşıma
Iğdır Şehirler Arası Nakliyat
Kripto Para Borsaları
Big Wolf Coin Hangi Borsada
Düzce Şehir İçi Nakliyat
Ünye Çatı Ustası
FA285
ReplyDelete%20 binance indirim kodu
696D8
ReplyDeletehttps://referanskodunedir.com.tr/
F17DE
ReplyDeleteizmir sesli sohbet odası
düzce ücretsiz sohbet uygulamaları
bolu telefonda kadınlarla sohbet
mersin bedava sohbet uygulamaları
ücretsiz sohbet
en iyi sesli sohbet uygulamaları
çankırı sohbet sitesi
malatya nanytoo sohbet
tekirdağ rastgele görüntülü sohbet uygulaması
8865B
ReplyDeleteBilecik Bedava Sohbet
mobil sohbet sitesi
kastamonu tamamen ücretsiz sohbet siteleri
antep görüntülü sohbet kadınlarla
kayseri sohbet siteleri
edirne canli goruntulu sohbet siteleri
mersin kadınlarla rastgele sohbet
telefonda canlı sohbet
rastgele sohbet uygulaması
75EFE
ReplyDeletecanli goruntulu sohbet siteleri
Elazığ En İyi Ücretsiz Sohbet Uygulamaları
canli sohbet bedava
Sinop Ücretsiz Sohbet
antep mobil sohbet bedava
kırıkkale rastgele sohbet siteleri
Ankara Mobil Sohbet Odaları
muş sesli sohbet uygulamaları
Karabük Kadınlarla Ücretsiz Sohbet
5C1D3
ReplyDeleteCoin Çıkarma Siteleri
Binance Sahibi Kim
Soundcloud Reposts Hilesi
Binance Borsası Güvenilir mi
Mexc Borsası Güvenilir mi
Twitter Retweet Satın Al
Ceek Coin Hangi Borsada
Trovo Takipçi Hilesi
Hexa Coin Hangi Borsada
F4255
ReplyDeleteBone Coin Hangi Borsada
Bitcoin Nedir
Binance Ne Zaman Kuruldu
Xcn Coin Hangi Borsada
MEME Coin Hangi Borsada
Coin Madenciliği Nasıl Yapılır
Twitter Retweet Satın Al
Kripto Para Kazanma Siteleri
Pepecoin Coin Hangi Borsada
DD034
ReplyDeleteAvcılar
Hadim
Hozat
Ağın
Mazgirt
Yayladere
Bayramören
Pertek
İnhisar