I don't need a Kindle I have a Leopard Print Bikini

There comes a time in some women's lives when we reach the leopard print age. I will never forget one of the secretaries in my ex's old office (she used him as a screen saver, sweet bird of youth) who wore swanky leopard print jumpsuits to work, jangly earrings, lots of eyeliner and big hair. She walked as if working were beneath her, and it was a chore for her to answer the phone (difficult with those talons too). Her face used to light up with an eyelid-batting smile when my then husband's face popped around the door. It firmed up again when I was ushered in with a sweaty kid on my hip.

Leopard print. How late-forties. How I-wanna-be-jungle-while-I-still-think-I-can.

And now readers this unfortunate writer has to confess she bought a bitty leopard print bikini last week. It was grabbed and thrown in the basket. Cheap and the only one in her size, while shopaholic daughter pored through shreds of this and palm trees on that.

Whoosh. Catherine joins the leopard print club. Oh dear.

So now I've been packing my bag for the annual camping trip, holding it up in the air, wondering what was I thinking? Have I joined the ranks of Kris Jenner and Sharon Osborne? Move over Joan Collins?

How daft. I can already see myself laughing - at myself - while backstroking over the waves.

But reader wait. For this is not a post about leopard print bikinis. It is a serious post about not-having-a-Kindle-but-a-big-suitcase. And driving such a long long way that when I get there I want to pull out my stash of paperbacks on the lazy susan and decide which one I want to read first. Can you believe I was contemplating bringing a computer? A manuscript? Naaaah. Here's my pile:

Iris Murdoch The Sea, The Sea - my prezzie from a best mate
Simon Van Booy (short stories) Love Begins in Winter - read it was a prizewinner, ordered it
Margaret Laurence (short stories) This Side Jordan - Ghana in the 50s. Will this be an expat romp or some insightful writing?
Esi Edugyan Half Blood Blues - Haven't read the hype because I wanted to go there myself
Roelof Bakker, editor (short stories) Still - with 'still' photographs too
Nikki Gemmell With My Body - lashing of sex I expect
Hazel Rowley Tete à Tete - The Lives and Loves of Simone de Beauvoir & Jean-Paul Sartre. Because I can't let go of this couple and HR was a wondrous biographer

So when you see this skinny chick in a leopard print bikini, fretting for her towel and hat, don't feel sorry for her and think she's lost the plot - because she has a feast of plots back in the tent.


What about you? I love snooping on other people's reading lists.